Over 18s jokes - 2012

The light-hearted side of life
sanity clause
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:01 am
Has thanked: 85 times
Been thanked: 561 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Fri Feb 24, 2012 9:38 am

I did a stand up comedy spot at the local old folks home last night.

They didn't understand any of the jokes, but pissed themselves anyway.
Thanked by: kevinchess1

HeadHunter
Posts: 295
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 6:34 am
Has thanked: 68 times
Been thanked: 155 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by HeadHunter » Thu Mar 01, 2012 3:01 pm

My doctor just told me I'm a compulsive liar.

Then she gave me a blow job in her office.
Thanked by: Denant

sanity clause
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:01 am
Has thanked: 85 times
Been thanked: 561 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:35 am

Little Johnny got kicked out of class today.

The teacher asked him, "If I gave you £20 and you gave £5 to Jane, £5 to Claire, and £5 to Katie, what would you have?

Apparently, "3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab" was the wrong answer...
Thanked by: kevinchess1

sanity clause
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:01 am
Has thanked: 85 times
Been thanked: 561 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Tue Mar 06, 2012 10:36 am

Mad Mary was whizzing round the mental hospital in her wheelchair when she was stopped by Crazy Carl.

"Licence Please" said Crazy Carl.

Mary Speeds off round the corner and bumps into Loony Leon.

"Insurance Please" says Loony Leon.

Off she zooms again until she's stopped by Donkey Dave, naked with an 8inch hard on.

"Oh No" cries Mary. "Not the breathalyser again"
Thanked by: kevinchess1

sanity clause
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:01 am
Has thanked: 85 times
Been thanked: 561 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Wed Mar 07, 2012 9:42 am

In an effort to be sexy, my girlfriend slipped a lollipop into her p**sy.

I said, "That's lovely, darling, but don't you need that to get those children across the road?"
Thanked by: kevinchess1

sanity clause
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:01 am
Has thanked: 85 times
Been thanked: 561 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Thu Mar 08, 2012 9:15 am

Answerphone message on the drugs hotline...

..."If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key"
Thanked by: kevinchess1

HeadHunter
Posts: 295
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 6:34 am
Has thanked: 68 times
Been thanked: 155 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by HeadHunter » Thu Mar 29, 2012 4:45 pm

I organised a threesome last night. There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time.
Thanked by: kevinchess1

sanity clause
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:01 am
Has thanked: 85 times
Been thanked: 561 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Fri Mar 30, 2012 8:34 am

Apparently, they've found a cure for dyslexia.

Well, that's music to my arse.
Thanked by: Denant, rayf

HeadHunter
Posts: 295
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 6:34 am
Has thanked: 68 times
Been thanked: 155 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by HeadHunter » Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:56 pm

Tonight I'm going to one of those bukkake parties. I was a bit worried so I rang my insurance company about it. They've assured me I will be covered.
Thanked by: kevinchess1

Mel
Posts: 1855
Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2010 10:56 am
Has thanked: 1999 times
Been thanked: 1210 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by Mel » Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:35 am

My friend asked his wife the other day
"Why have you got all those cookery and recipe books when you can't cook?"

She replied "Why have you got all those pornographic DVD's?"
Thanked by: kevinchess1

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests