Over 18s jokes - 2012

The light-hearted side of life
sanity clause
Posts: 2122
Joined: Sat Dec 10 2011 10:01am
Has thanked: 174 times
Been thanked: 740 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Tue Apr 17 2012 12:03pm

Angela Merkel arrives at passport control at Warsaw Airport.

"Nationality?" asks the Immigration officer.

"German," she replies.

"Occupation?" he asks.

"No, just visiting for a few days."
Thanked by: HeadHunter, kevinchess1, zulu17

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Apr 17 2012 11:04pm

Good news for all the people who believe the world ends on December 21 2012
You can stop using condoms from this month. :thumbup:
Thanked by: Denant
Politically incorrect since 69

HeadHunter
Posts: 295
Joined: Tue Jul 06 2010 6:34am
Has thanked: 68 times
Been thanked: 155 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by HeadHunter » Fri Apr 27 2012 12:50pm

My wife just called the house phone.

"I've broken down on the M25, just before junction 6" she panicked.

"Just wait there" I said, "I'll be about 10 minutes."

After having a dump, I took the receiver back off the table and said, "Right, you've done what?"
Thanked by: kevinchess1, Mel

Richard Frost
Posts: 13231
Joined: Tue Jun 29 2010 8:14pm
Location: The Isle of Dreams
Has thanked: 2874 times
Been thanked: 6861 times

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by Richard Frost » Sun May 13 2012 9:27am

kevinchess1 wrote:just watched some gay porn,
it was a load of bollocks!
Can't imagine why. It was with two women!
Thanked by: kevinchess1

sanity clause
Posts: 2122
Joined: Sat Dec 10 2011 10:01am
Has thanked: 174 times
Been thanked: 740 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Mon May 14 2012 9:57am

An old man with a hearing aid has a big smile on his face.

Old lady gives him a withering look...
"What I said was, 'I've got acute angina'!!!"
Thanked by: kevinchess1

HeadHunter
Posts: 295
Joined: Tue Jul 06 2010 6:34am
Has thanked: 68 times
Been thanked: 155 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by HeadHunter » Wed May 16 2012 9:52am

Wife is on at me to be more like Man Utd in Bed - "Stay on Top for 90 minutes and come second."
Thanked by: Mel

sanity clause
Posts: 2122
Joined: Sat Dec 10 2011 10:01am
Has thanked: 174 times
Been thanked: 740 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Fri May 25 2012 9:08am

I was walking past a field the other day and saw a scarecrow trying to have a wank!

I thought to myself "Worzel Gummidge is clutching at straws again"...
Thanked by: kevinchess1

sanity clause
Posts: 2122
Joined: Sat Dec 10 2011 10:01am
Has thanked: 174 times
Been thanked: 740 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Sat Jun 09 2012 11:01am

I got stopped outside the chemist shop today, by a women with a clipboard.

"Hello Sir, can I ask you what you use for grooming " she said.

She was somewhat taken aback when I replied, "Facebook "
Thanked by: kevinchess1

Luke_PieStalker
Posts: 2136
Joined: Tue Jul 06 2010 3:25pm
Has thanked: 577 times
Been thanked: 1415 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by Luke_PieStalker » Tue Jun 12 2012 12:02am

kevinchess1 wrote:Walkin home with me V fit, Supper hot new girlfriend when i see mee ex comin towards us :o
Talk about embarrasin, how awkard
In the end I just blurted out 'Hiya luke' :?
As Mark Almond once said "Just smile and say hello".
Thanked by: kevinchess1

sanity clause
Posts: 2122
Joined: Sat Dec 10 2011 10:01am
Has thanked: 174 times
Been thanked: 740 times
Contact:

Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Tue Jun 12 2012 5:05pm

The dustman calls to collect the dustbin. He knocks on the door and a Chinese man comes out.

"Where’s your bin?" says the dustman.

The Chinese man says "I bin in the bedroom"

The dustman says "No,... where is your dustbin?"

The Chinese man says "I just told you. I dust bin in the bedroom.

The dustman says "NO,... where is your wheelie bin?"

The Chinese man says "OK... I wheelie bin having a wank".
Thanked by: kevinchess1

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests