Over 18s jokes - 2012

The light-hearted side of life
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Tue Apr 17, 2012 12:03 pm

Angela Merkel arrives at passport control at Warsaw Airport.

"Nationality?" asks the Immigration officer.

"German," she replies.

"Occupation?" he asks.

"No, just visiting for a few days."
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Apr 17, 2012 11:04 pm

Good news for all the people who believe the world ends on December 21 2012
You can stop using condoms from this month. :thumbup:
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by HeadHunter » Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:50 pm

My wife just called the house phone.

"I've broken down on the M25, just before junction 6" she panicked.

"Just wait there" I said, "I'll be about 10 minutes."

After having a dump, I took the receiver back off the table and said, "Right, you've done what?"
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by Richard Frost » Sun May 13, 2012 9:27 am

kevinchess1 wrote:just watched some gay porn,
it was a load of bollocks!
Can't imagine why. It was with two women!
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Mon May 14, 2012 9:57 am

An old man with a hearing aid has a big smile on his face.

Old lady gives him a withering look...
"What I said was, 'I've got acute angina'!!!"
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by HeadHunter » Wed May 16, 2012 9:52 am

Wife is on at me to be more like Man Utd in Bed - "Stay on Top for 90 minutes and come second."
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Fri May 25, 2012 9:08 am

I was walking past a field the other day and saw a scarecrow trying to have a wank!

I thought to myself "Worzel Gummidge is clutching at straws again"...
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:01 am

I got stopped outside the chemist shop today, by a women with a clipboard.

"Hello Sir, can I ask you what you use for grooming " she said.

She was somewhat taken aback when I replied, "Facebook "
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by Luke_PieStalker » Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:02 am

kevinchess1 wrote:Walkin home with me V fit, Supper hot new girlfriend when i see mee ex comin towards us :o
Talk about embarrasin, how awkard
In the end I just blurted out 'Hiya luke' :?
As Mark Almond once said "Just smile and say hello".
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:05 pm

The dustman calls to collect the dustbin. He knocks on the door and a Chinese man comes out.

"Where’s your bin?" says the dustman.

The Chinese man says "I bin in the bedroom"

The dustman says "No,... where is your dustbin?"

The Chinese man says "I just told you. I dust bin in the bedroom.

The dustman says "NO,... where is your wheelie bin?"

The Chinese man says "OK... I wheelie bin having a wank".
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