Clean jokes - 2015

The light-hearted side of life
Mel
Posts: 1855
Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2010 10:56 am
Has thanked: 1999 times
Been thanked: 1210 times
Contact:

Clean jokes - 2015

Post by Mel » Tue Jan 06, 2015 5:58 pm

kevinchess1 wrote:What is precise and sounds like a carrot :?:
Accurate. :oops:
What is religious and sounds like a carrot:
Accurate. :roll:
Thanked by: Denant, kevinchess1

kevinchess1
Posts: 21881
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:02 pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 10916 times
Been thanked: 14942 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Jan 21, 2015 11:30 pm

Bruce Willis is making another sequel. You know what they say, 'Old habits...'
Thanked by: macliam
Politically incorrect since 69

macliam
Posts: 8015
Joined: Thu Jul 18, 2013 12:26 pm
Location: By the Deben, Suffolk
Has thanked: 1281 times
Been thanked: 6222 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Thu Jan 22, 2015 12:25 am

Researchers at Galway University have published proof that birthdays are good for you.

…The more you have, the longer you live. :mrgreen:
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

macliam
Posts: 8015
Joined: Thu Jul 18, 2013 12:26 pm
Location: By the Deben, Suffolk
Has thanked: 1281 times
Been thanked: 6222 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Thu Jan 22, 2015 12:28 am

"Stop tellin' me to hurry up" said Mrs Doyle

"Haven't I been telling you for the last hour that I'll be ready in a minute?!!" :mrgreen:
Thanked by: kevinchess1
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

macliam
Posts: 8015
Joined: Thu Jul 18, 2013 12:26 pm
Location: By the Deben, Suffolk
Has thanked: 1281 times
Been thanked: 6222 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Thu Jan 22, 2015 6:45 pm

The lawyer said, "Mr Murphy, why is it that whenever I ask you a question, you answer with another question? "

"Who told you that?" asked Murphy. :mrgreen:
Thanked by: kevinchess1
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

macliam
Posts: 8015
Joined: Thu Jul 18, 2013 12:26 pm
Location: By the Deben, Suffolk
Has thanked: 1281 times
Been thanked: 6222 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Thu Jan 22, 2015 6:57 pm

"As the sixth carriage on the Dublin-Drogheda midnight train has been vandalised regularly, the company has decided to run the train with only five carriages..." :shifty:
Thanked by: kevinchess1
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

kevinchess1
Posts: 21881
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:02 pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 10916 times
Been thanked: 14942 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Jan 22, 2015 8:28 pm

Just dropped my beer in my insect farm. Oh my giddy ants
Thanked by: Mel, macliam
Politically incorrect since 69

macliam
Posts: 8015
Joined: Thu Jul 18, 2013 12:26 pm
Location: By the Deben, Suffolk
Has thanked: 1281 times
Been thanked: 6222 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Jan 23, 2015 7:52 pm

kevinchess1 wrote:
macliam wrote:
kevinchess1 wrote:Bruce Willis is making another sequel. You know what they say, 'Old habits...'
He's taking the lead in Sound of Music 2? :shock:
No it's a Lassie remake.
He's playing the lead...
No point getting hot under the collar - good to see he's back in harness........
Thanked by: kevinchess1
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

macliam
Posts: 8015
Joined: Thu Jul 18, 2013 12:26 pm
Location: By the Deben, Suffolk
Has thanked: 1281 times
Been thanked: 6222 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Jan 23, 2015 8:16 pm

Mick sidles up to Seamus at the racecourse - "D'ye want the winner of the next race?" whispered Mick

"Thanks all the same," replied Paddy"but I've only got a small backyard!
Thanked by: kevinchess1
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

macliam
Posts: 8015
Joined: Thu Jul 18, 2013 12:26 pm
Location: By the Deben, Suffolk
Has thanked: 1281 times
Been thanked: 6222 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Jan 23, 2015 8:18 pm

On the Geoghan's Bar mystery tour they ran a sweepstake to guess their destination.....

.................the driver won 75 Euros :mrgreen:
Thanked by: kevinchess1
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest