Over 18s jokes - 2011

The light-hearted side of life
The_Wayward_Gun
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by The_Wayward_Gun » Tue Oct 11 2011 9:08pm

:lol:
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zulu17
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by zulu17 » Tue Nov 08 2011 1:24pm

Three blokes are seated side-by-side at a bar. Each has glass of beer in front of him.


Simultaneously, three flies land in the beers, one in each glass.


The first man looks at his beer, pushes it away and asks the bartender for a new one.


The second man reaches his fingers into the beer, picks up the fly, throws it to the floor and drinks his beer.


The third man reaches into the beer, picks up the fly, holds it over the glass and yells, “Spit it out, you bastard! Spit it out!”
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Nov 08 2011 11:47pm

Ladys
If a bloke remembers the colour of your eyes right after the first date....
Then Your t**s are too tiny :o
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zulu17
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by zulu17 » Thu Nov 17 2011 11:52am

Q)What is a blondes version of safe sex?
A)Lock the Car door
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by zulu17 » Wed Dec 07 2011 12:04pm

A young man wanted to purchase a birthday gift for his new girlfriend and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Selfridges and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the sales assistant mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the he got the panties package. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note :

"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with thembefore I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year!

All my love.

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
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