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by Fuggsy
Sat Jun 16, 2012 7:53 pm
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

My brain is like a computer.

The older I get, the less available memory I have...
by Fuggsy
Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:36 am
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me. "Fancy buying me a drink?" She said. "Sure," I replied. "If you let me choose." "Okay," she grinned. "But how will you know what I want?" "Well, it's kind of a talent," I smiled. "All I do is look a girl up and down and I know exactly what drink s...
by Fuggsy
Sun Jul 08, 2012 3:16 pm
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Two atoms walking down the road. The first atom says "I think I've lost an electron".

The second says "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive"
by Fuggsy
Thu Jul 12, 2012 5:26 pm
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Me: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my backside".

Doctor: "I've got some cream for that".
by Fuggsy
Wed Jul 11, 2012 10:58 am
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

I said to my other half, "Have you got a newspaper?"

"Don't be daft!" she replied. "Here... use my iPad."

That spider never knew what hit it.
by Fuggsy
Fri Jul 13, 2012 11:42 am
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

How do you kill a circus?

Go for the juggler...
by Fuggsy
Sat Jul 14, 2012 5:47 pm
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian says; "F**k off, you won't bring it back."
by Fuggsy
Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:45 am
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. "I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies "O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife "No, no boyfriend either." "Do you have a partner then?" "No, I'm...
by Fuggsy
Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:25 am
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

A man walks into a bar, late one night completely knackered and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies. "What's wrong with you?" The barman says. "In my car I've got a nymphomaniac - you couldn't satisfy her if you were there 'til Christmas," he replies. "We'll see about that," says the barman an...