On their first night of wedded bliss, the groom took off his trousers and asked his new bride to try them on. "They don't fit", she said. "And never forget it!", said the husband. "In this house I wear the trousers." She continued to disrobe. She threw him her frilly knickers and said, "Put those on...

At the nudist colony, it was always Colin that was sent for coffee.

He was the only one who could carry two cups of coffee and ten donuts.

Frank and Harry had been partners for many years. They had just employed a new secretary and Frank had taken her out. "How was it?", enquired Harry. "Fantastic! And I don't mind saying, that she's far better in the cot than my wife." A couple of weeks later, Harry took the secretary out, and the fol...

The new bride was a little confused about what to do with her husband's constant erection.

"Don't worry about it", advised her husband.

"When you want to make love, tug it three times. When you don't want to, tug it three hundred times."

There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a virgin... I'm going out and I'm not coming home 'til I've been laid!!" Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't worry about you." 10 o'clock rolls around and ...

A 90-year-old man checked into a posh hotel to celebrate his birthday. As a surprise, some friends sent a call girl to his room. When the man answered his door, he saw before him a beautiful young woman. "I have a present for you." she told him. "Really?" replied the bewildered man. "I'm here to giv...

Francis had the flu. "Why don't you take the day off?" said one of his workmates. "But the boss wouldn't like it", said Francis, coughing and sneezing. "Don't worry, he's never here on Wednesdays anyway." So Francis took his friend's advice and went home. As he passed his bedroom window, he saw his ...

"We specialize In hygiene", said the sign at the bread shop. The customer was delighted when she saw the baker pick up her rolls with a pair of tongs and put them in a bag. "Untouched by human hands!", said the baker. "Very good!" said the customer, "but tell me, what is that piece of string hanging...

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I used the F word this morning on the golf course." "Tell me, my son, what were the circumstances that put you under such extreme provocation?" "I drove my tee shot three hundred metres, but the wind suddenly caught it and it landed in the rough." "I can appre...

The doctor was examining the pretty, and well endowed patient, and thinking her to be naive proceeded to take advantage of the situation. Putting his hands around her breasts he asked her, "What am I doing?" "You are taking my heartbeat," she answered. The doctor smiled to himself at the girl's inno...