Ed and Ted were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when Ed glanced over and noticed that Ted's penis was twisted like a corkscrew. "Wow," Ed said. "I've never seen one like that before." "Like what?" Ted said. "All twisted like a pig's tail," Ed said. "Well, what's yours like?" Ted said. ...

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day when Sleepy rushes in and says, "Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!" Everyone gets all excited and chants, "We finally get to ask him, we finally get to ask him." The next day, they are standing in front of the Pope, Dopey o...

There was once a man whose wife had gone for a vacation. When she came back from her vacation, she finds that there are two panties in her dresser which do not belong to her. Seeing this, she gets very angry and calls her husband and asks him ,'Whose panties are these?' Taken aback, he replies, 'I h...

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Does your wife ever...well, you know...does she...well, let you do it doggie style?" asked one of the two. "Well, not exactly," his friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it." "Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?" "Well, not e...

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way." The doc said, "I'll have to put...

Once there were identical twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat. It so happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for John. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel ...

While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately, the executive found himself unable to perform. On his first night home, the executive...

A man dressed in a suit comes up to the front porch of house juggling a clipboard, some papers, and a briefcase. He knocks on the door and it's answered by a middle-aged man. "Mornin' stranger, what can I do for ya?" "Well sir, I represent Schneller, Barnum, and Holtz. We're paid by private companie...

A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. "Please describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife's infidelity." "Well, I'm pretty much on the road all week," the man testified. "So naturally when I am home, I'm a...

This guy has a crush on a girl at his work. He is dying to ask her out on a date, but every time he sees her he gets the biggest erection ever. There is nothing he can do to control it. After some time, he decides to get her phone number and call her up. This way he won't have to see her and he won'...