Clean jokes - post 'em here

[expressman33]

I want to tell you about a girl that only eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.

[expressman33]

I got a Bonnie Tyler sat nav, it kept saying ‘turn around’ and every now and then it falls apart!

[macliam]

I got a Bonnie Tyler sat nav, it kept saying ‘turn around’ and every now and then it falls apart!

Sounds like the driver in the US
Cop "Turn Around"
Driver "Every now and then, I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round"
Cop "Turn Around"
Driver "Every now and then, I get a little bit tired of listening to....."
Gets tasered

[expressman33]

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless

[expressman33]

What do you call bears with no ears?
B

[kevinchess1]

Who likes Roman numerals ?
I for one.

[expressman33]

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. (…Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke.)

[expressman33]

When does a joke become a ‘dad’ joke?

When it becomes apparent.

[expressman33]

It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.
It's a 45 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.

[macliam]

It's Olympics time!

Why didn't Mexico win many medals at the Olympics?

Because their best runners and swimmers are in the USA.....