Christmas JOkes

The light-hearted side of life
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kevinchess1
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Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Dec 01 2018 12:05am

As is our tradition

We start with the usual

Q. How does Good King Wenchelas like his pizza?

(Your cue Chadwick)
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kevinchess1
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Dec 01 2018 12:06am

Satan sitting on his throne in Hell, going through his mail...
“There’s another Christmas list from a dyslexic.”
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Boro Boy
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by Boro Boy » Sat Dec 01 2018 12:13am

We hosted an early Christmas dinner party for all our friends a while ago; some of the friends we hadn't seen for ages, so to ensure they came along everyone was encouraged to bring their children with them as well.
All throughout dinner our best friend's four-year-old daughter stared at me as I sat opposite her. The girl could hardly eat her food for staring.
I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face for food, and patted my hair in place; but nothing stopped her from staring at me. I tried my best to just ignore her, but finally it was too much for me.
I asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"
Everyone at the table had noticed her behaviour, and the table went quiet, waiting for her response.

The little girl said, "Daddy said it, but I'm just waiting, to see how you drink like a fish!" :D
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kevinchess1
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Dec 02 2018 4:33pm

Just seen a sign "Turkey £29" in the butcher's...

That's £300 cheaper than Thomas Cook!
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Chadwick
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by Chadwick » Sun Dec 02 2018 7:44pm

kevinchess1 wrote: ↑
Sat Dec 01 2018 12:05am
 As is our tradition

We start with the usual

Q. How does Good King Wenchelas like his pizza?

(Your cue Chadwick)
Wait, I know this...

Is it to do with pineapple? :?
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blythburgh
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by blythburgh » Mon Dec 03 2018 9:35am

Chadwick wrote: ↑
Sun Dec 02 2018 7:44pm
kevinchess1 wrote: ↑
Sat Dec 01 2018 12:05am
 As is our tradition

We start with the usual

Q. How does Good King Wenchelas like his pizza?

(Your cue Chadwick)
Wait, I know this...

Is it to do with pineapple? :?
I know the answer but I am not Chadwick so cannot tell you
Keep smiling because the light at the end of someone's tunnel may be you, Ron Cheneler
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kevinchess1
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Dec 04 2018 6:13pm

Enjoy your last visit from Santa this Christmas.
He won't be allowed in after Brexit


#pakefieldsLaw
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macliam
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by macliam » Tue Dec 04 2018 7:18pm

Coming from Lapland, I guess it'll depend on whether lap-dancers are seen as key workers.......

I'm sure Peter Stringfellow would have sponsored him.........
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me
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kevinchess1
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Dec 05 2018 3:20pm

Mackem took his lad to see Father Christmas yesterday and he stank of booze and cigarettes.

God knows what Father Christmas thought of him.
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kevinchess1
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Dec 10 2018 3:09pm

What is an atheist's favorite Christmas movie?
"Coincidence on 34th Street"
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