The light-hearted side of life
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kevinchess1
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by kevinchess1 » Sun Jan 25 2015 9:04am
Jose Mourinho, Manuel Pellegrini, Guy Poyet and Louis Van Gaal have been drinking all night in the pub when Louis gets up and says 'Do you want another Guy?'
'What about us says Jose and Manuel?'
'Your not in this round.'
Politically incorrect since 69
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Denant
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by Denant » Sun Jan 25 2015 2:59pm
you can tell the sex of an ant by putting them in a jar of water:
if it sinks its a girl ant
if it floats it's boy ant
I'll grab me coat
Free tea,
coffee and biscuits available
here Less than an armful ;o)
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kevinchess1
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by kevinchess1 » Tue Feb 03 2015 3:09pm
My mate has read “Osteopathy Monthly for over 20 years. He has lots of back issues.
Politically incorrect since 69
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Mel
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by Mel » Tue Feb 03 2015 6:32pm
If you want to know who loves you more, your wife or your dog, lock them both in the boot of your car for 1 hour and see who is more happy to see you when you open the boot.
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kevinchess1
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by kevinchess1 » Wed Feb 04 2015 3:22pm
Managed to sit down on the Tube today. Toothpaste everywhere
Politically incorrect since 69
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kevinchess1
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by kevinchess1 » Sat Feb 07 2015 12:36pm
Mackem's new pet dog moves unpredictably from side to side
It's a Lurcher.
Politically incorrect since 69
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kevinchess1
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by kevinchess1 » Sun Feb 08 2015 11:25am
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will track you down - you have my Word
Politically incorrect since 69
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macliam
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by macliam » Sun Feb 08 2015 12:16pm
kevinchess1 wrote:Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will track you down - you have my Word
OLE Kev! you Excel at wordplay like this - the Outlook is bleak for the perpetrator once you have the Power - point him out and it'll be VB for him!
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me
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kevinchess1
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by kevinchess1 » Mon Feb 16 2015 10:47am
I made a pirate angry by talking the P out of him
Politically incorrect since 69
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Mel
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by Mel » Tue Feb 17 2015 6:02pm
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"Computer really *f**ked up now.”
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