Clean jokes - post 'em here

[kevinchess1]

V Well done to Sunderland FC Pete today
Kept them going forward, maintain a good tempo, never looked back
It's a pity he just drives their coach

[kevinchess1]

I brought an alcoholic ginger beer last night
'Thanks very much.' said Luke

[kevinchess1]

After finding 5 Mars, 3 Snickers, a Galaxy and a Twix in this Celebrations box, I'm starting to think I'm not cut out to be a Bounty hunter.

[kevinchess1]

Just phoned Seaworld. B4 I could speak to anyone I had to shout "Jump through the hoop!” as my call was being recorded 4 training porpoises.

[kevinchess1]

IDSIS (TEACHER)
told ME THIS ONE

Maths Test paper question'

To change centimeters to ,meters you...
one of Her pupils put

'Take away Centi'

[blythburgh]

IDSIS (TEACHER)
told ME THIS ONE

Maths Test paper question'

To change centimeters to ,meters you...
one of Her pupils put

'Take away Centi'

Correct answer if it was an English test paper. Probably test exhaustion syndrome and the poor child got confused as to what test they were doing that day.

I remember the good old days when exams were so few and very far between.

[kevinchess1]

The EU Health Commissioner has caused massive controversy at EuroDisney, insisting the staff canteen closed after sightings of a giant mouse

[kevinchess1]

What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

One's a marsupial, the others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

[kevinchess1]

I saw some idiot at the gym put a bottle of water in the hole on the machine where the Pringles go

[kevinchess1]

Went on date with a gym instructor. Didn't work out.