Clean jokes - post 'em here

[macliam]

At the local Hindu corner store, I spent a few minutes talking to the statue of Ganesh that they keep on the counter.

Just a bit of idol chatter.

Was that a trunk call?

[gle1975]

At the local Hindu corner store, I spent a few minutes talking to the statue of Ganesh that they keep on the counter.

Just a bit of idol chatter.

Was that a trunk call?

I bought some parsley, chives and croutons from that shop - to use as a Ganesh in my dinner.

[macliam]

At the local Hindu corner store, I spent a few minutes talking to the statue of Ganesh that they keep on the counter.

Just a bit of idol chatter.

Was that a trunk call?

I bought some parsley, chives and croutons from that shop - to use as a Ganesh in my dinner.

Was that a jumbo pack?

[kevinchess1]

Staff in a Dublin hotel got very anxious when they saw a guest had registered as an IRA spokesman.
They called Special Branch, who sent two men and a dog along to investigate. The fact the guest was American - and black - and had the very in-Irish name of Van Gelph didn't seem to cool their intrigue, so they knocked on his door, keeping one hand on the snub-nose revolvers (or so they said....).

The door opened, and the middle-aged American was surprised to be asked what he was doing in Dublin. He explained he was attending a financial conference and reached (slowly....) for a business card, which stated - Victor Van Gelph, Senior VP, Satis Investments. "Your Individual Retirement Account Specialists".

Then the penny dropped - it was probably the only time anyone was happy to meet a pension salesman!!

His trial comes up next week......

Many years ago, a chap named Nick Griffin? was reasonably succeful in charge of the BNP polotical party
At the same time the French open tennis was sponsored by The FRench Bank, BNP They had posters all over

[kevinchess1]

Rumours of a food shortage at this year's Spoonerism Awards turned out to be a complete lack of pies.

[kevinchess1]

A work colleague got hurt today when a box of Omega 3 tablets was thrown at him... Luckily he suffered only super fish oil injuries.

[kevinchess1]

So I've started dating this wonderful girl who works at the Zoo.
she's a keeper...

[kevinchess1]

Harry Redknapp has finally won something.

[blythburgh]

Theresa May was sick of begging other EU leaders for help so she sent a lookalike/soundalike who who hoped would be more successful.

President Macron kissed her on both cheeks and had a long conversation with her. As did many other leaders. Then the May clone met Angela Merkel who looked shocked and asked who let this unknown woman near her. But it is Mrs May her advisors told her. "No she isn't" Frau Merkel replied, did none of you men notice how small the beads in her necklace are?

You see, it really does take a woman to see when the wool is being pulled over your eyes

[Constantine]

This is swiped off Amazon. Specifically, somebody was interested in buying a Tefal Actifry Traditional, Air Fryer, 1400W, 1Kg Capacity, Black, and asked the following question;

Is it big enough for a family of 4?

Answer: Oh gosh no - you would be hard pushed to fit a small squirrel in... no way a whole family of four.