Clean jokes - post 'em here

[expressman33]

Q. What do you call a donkey with a missing leg?

A wonkey

[kevinchess1]

Hello everyone and welcome to the plastic surgery anonymous group . . . I see there are a lot of new faces here tonight !

...which is bitterly disappointing

[kevinchess1]

Vegans need to lay off attacking others for their eating habits

The last thing we need is another Spinach Inquisition.

[kevinchess1]

Can we Lock this Thread please?
Not seen a good joke posted all year!

[blythburgh]

With thanks to a FB friend, Noel

First corny joke of 2020..

Q/ What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?

A/ He got a little behind in his work

[kevinchess1]

I killed a French vampire by driving a baguette right though his heart
It was painstaking

[kevinchess1]

Thanks to a typo I’ve invited my friends to go “terrapin bowling” which sounds like it could be a turtle disaster.

[kevinchess1]

THEY said I’d get the name of the lead singer of the Black eye peas wrong
I said ‘Will I now?’

[expressman33]

[Chadwick]

[Pendantry mode]

This doesn't work as a joke. It's supposed to be witty because of the dual meanings of the word appendix. But the context doesn't support it.

If you had an appendix removed, you wouldn't look slimmer.
If a book had an appendix removed, it would look slimmer, but that's the face value of the picture anyway. There's no second meaning when the other book says 'I look slimmer because I've had some pages taken out'.

[/Pendantry mode]