Clean jokes - post 'em here

[macliam]

It was assessment day at the local asylum and the doctor was introduced to an inmate called Sam.

After a few minutes chatting, the doctor said "Well, Sam, I can't see any reason for you to be kept here any longer"

"I agree with you, doctor", said Sam "I've been trying to tell them, but they don't listen!"

"Never mind", said the doctor "I'll go straight to admin and get them to sign your discharge papers"

He turns and heads of down the corridor - but then a half-brick hits him on the back of the head.

He looks back down the corridor and there's Sam smiling and waving "Don't forget!!"

[macliam]

Then the doctor meets Joe, who is trotting around and making beeping noises.

"Excuse me", asks the doctor, "What on earth are you doing?"

"I’m driving my car!", saysJoe,excitedly. "Beep beep!"

"Now, now", says the doctor, "this is just an illusion..."

Then a voice comes from the bed opposite, "Oy doc, shaddup will you! I get £5 a day to wash the bloody thing"

[gle1975]

The Irish government have just announced their big infrastructure scheme - a tunnel between Dublin and Cork.

[macliam]

The Irish government have just announced their big infrastructure scheme - a tunnel between Dublin and Cork.

Well, if Micheál becomes the new Taoiseach that could happen, "Jest ta give the Cahrk bais access ta Cro-ahke Pairk, junno, leyk" - and it'll still come in cheaper than HS2!!

[kevinchess1]

The Irish government have just announced their big infrastructure scheme - a tunnel between Dublin and Cork.

As funny as a bridge between Ireland and England …oh...wait

[kevinchess1]

I can't be bothered to rub my magic lamp myself.

I think I'll get A lad in.

[macliam]

The Irish government have just announced their big infrastructure scheme - a tunnel between Dublin and Cork.

As funny as a bridge between Ireland and England …oh...wait

That would be a bit far, stick to one between Ireland and Scotland like Boris wants - after all, the one under London came in on time and budget, didn't it? They could start it just after the new Airport in the Thames estuary!

[macliam]

I can't be bothered to rub my magic lamp myself.

I think I'll get A lad in.

In genie us.

[kevinchess1]

Soppy old Expresso gave his wife 6 Roses for Valentines Day
He ate the rest of the box himself

[kevinchess1]

Here’s hoping all the ladies are enjoying VD
if you’re a dad some single, cheer up, Pancake day next week