Clean jokes - post 'em here

[Chadwick]

Matt Hancock has retained his job as Health Secretary.
That means we have one more Health Secretary, making a total of two.

[macliam]

Someone suggested that the local council remove the "Deer Crossing" signs in the forest.

They said that too many deers are being hit by cars - so they didn't think they should be allowed to cross there anymore......

.... and this person is allowed to vote!

[macliam]

Murphy went to Burger King and asked for a burger with minimal lettuce.

But the girl behind the counter said she didn't know what type of lettuce they used.

[macliam]

Matt Hancock has retained his job as Health Secretary.
That means we have one more Health Secretary, making a total of two.

No, 3 - you forgot Cummings!

Or Dominator Cummings, the all powerful, lord of light and controller of the universe as his proposed business card reads.....

[macliam]

I can't keep up with all the Cummings and goings in the cabinet

[kevinchess1]

My window cleaner was in a filthy mood today.
Banging, clattering, swearing.
I think he's lost his rag.

[macliam]

[macliam]

I offered to donate blood, but they just asked so many questions.....


Whose is it?

Where did you get it?

[expressman33]

I'm worried about Kev , he can't stop buying cars.

I think he may have car owner virus .

[macliam]

Yeah, a neighbour can't stop going to post-mortems - he's got the coroner virus.