Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
Chadwick
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Chadwick » Wed Feb 19, 2020 1:59 pm

Matt Hancock has retained his job as Health Secretary.
That means we have one more Health Secretary, making a total of two.

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Feb 19, 2020 2:18 pm

Someone suggested that the local council remove the "Deer Crossing" signs in the forest.

They said that too many deers are being hit by cars - so they didn't think they should be allowed to cross there anymore......

.... and this person is allowed to vote!
Last edited by macliam on Wed Feb 19, 2020 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Feb 19, 2020 2:23 pm

Murphy went to Burger King and asked for a burger with minimal lettuce.

But the girl behind the counter said she didn't know what type of lettuce they used.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Feb 19, 2020 2:36 pm

Chadwick wrote:
Wed Feb 19, 2020 1:59 pm
Matt Hancock has retained his job as Health Secretary.
That means we have one more Health Secretary, making a total of two.
No, 3 - you forgot Cummings!

Or Dominator Cummings, the all powerful, lord of light and controller of the universe as his proposed business card reads.....
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Feb 19, 2020 3:05 pm

I can't keep up with all the Cummings and goings in the cabinet :(
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Feb 22, 2020 6:30 pm

My window cleaner was in a filthy mood today.
Banging, clattering, swearing.
I think he's lost his rag. :?
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sat Feb 22, 2020 7:15 pm

Image
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sat Feb 22, 2020 11:11 pm

I offered to donate blood, but they just asked so many questions.....


Whose is it?

Where did you get it?
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:30 am

I'm worried about Kev , he can't stop buying cars.

I think he may have car owner virus .
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:32 am

Yeah, a neighbour can't stop going to post-mortems - he's got the coroner virus.
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