Clean jokes - post 'em here

[kevinchess1]

My girlfriend accused me of stealing her thesaurus

Not only was I shocked, I was also aghast, appalled and dismayed.

[kevinchess1]

The UK and the EU are trying to resolve the NI "sausage war" by holding talks in Bangor.

[kevinchess1]

Gave IDSIS £50 tonight and said "Why don't you go out and treat yourself while the footballs on?"

She said "I don't need as much as that"

I said "Don't forget it's got to last you 4 weeks"

[expressman33]

Two men walked into a bar , the third man ducked .

[expressman33]

Have you heard about the magic tractor? It goes down the road and turns into a field

[expressman33]

I accidently turned the washing machine on and the cat was inside it. At least it died in Comfort.

[kevinchess1]

Just tried to buy bread at the Indian takeaway, they had naan 🫓.

[gle1975]

My vegan friends have started a relationship. It was love at first soy-t.

[kevinchess1]

My vegan friends have started a relationship. It was love at first soy-t.

Becoming vegan
Big misteak

[gle1975]

My vegan friends have started a relationship. It was love at first soy-t.

Becoming vegan
Big misteak

Gareth Southgate and his England team are going to turn vegan - to try and become more ex-seitan!